Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, dead at 11

An 11 Year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover hung himself Monday after enduring bullying.  Eliza Byard from GLSEN left a comment this blog this morning to correct a misunderstanding:  “I just wanted to clarify that there is no evidence one way or the other that other students in Carl’s school actually thought that he was gay. However, the primary language used to torment him, according to his mother, was that he was a “faggot,” or that he was “feminine.” This horrible situation must be a wake-up call regarding the impact of bullying on all children, and the urgent need for holistic responses to the problem that deal with the fact that homophobic language is the weapon of choice for bullies. All concerned adults must make sure that schools foster and enforce respect for *all.*”  This unfortunate tragedy is the 4th teen suicide related to bullying this year. Carl would have been 12 April 19, 2009.

This loss is so disturbing and heartbreaking.  Adults should have intervened and stopped the bullying.  How could no one have notice this was happening to this poor kid? I realize the root of this problem is so systemic it seems almost impossible to fix.  We need a cultural attitude paradigm shift towards gays and lesbians to cure the root of the problem.  As long those opposed to gay rights and equality are given a voice in our national media, children will inadvertently learn to hate gay people.  As long as gays and lesbians are treated as second class citizens, children will learn to hate gay people. As long as gay people are hated and feared they will be victims of abuse, bullying, and violence. Our most vulnerable brothers and sisters, like Carl, are not strong  or mature enough to be asked to bear the brunt of this hate. I really hope those who oppose equality come across this story and see the result of their dirty work.

I wish I had  just five minutes to talk to this poor boy before he hung himself. I wish I could have told him that he is loved by an enormous community, that many believe him to be beautiful, special, and important. I wish I could tell him that with time your skin becomes so thick that no matter how many times people bully you it no longer hurts.  I wish he could have seen the future that I see — one that is bright and eventually welcoming of everyone.  It may take time but I sincerely believe we can do it.

For the rest of us we have some tough questions to ask ourselves.  Our my hands bloody? Have I done everything I can to teach children to love one another instead of hate and fear people who are different?  Do I have the courage to intervene if I hear someone bullying someone else?  Have my actions contributed to the problem or helped cure the problem? These are tough questions, but in light of the trend developing it is time we all ask ourselves, what more can I do?

Here is the press release from GLSEN, an amazing organization looking for solutions for these problems:

GLSEN Calls on Schools, Nation to Embrace Solutions to Bullying Problem

NEW YORK, April 9, 2009 – An 11-year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hung himself Monday after enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay, despite his mother’s weekly pleas to the school to address the problem. This is at least the fourth suicide of a middle-school aged child linked to bullying this year.

Carl, a junior at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield who did not identify as gay, would have turned 12 on April 17, the same day hundreds of thousands of students will participate in the 13th annual National Day of Silence by taking some form of a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) bullying and harassment at school. The other three known cases of suicide among middle-school students took place in Chatham, Evanston and Chicago, Ill., in the month of February.

“Our hearts go out to Carl’s mother, Sirdeaner L. Walker, and other members of Carl’s family, as well as to the community suffering from this loss,” GLSEN Executive Director Eliza Byard said. “As we mourn yet another tragedy involving bullying at school, we must heed Ms. Walker’s urgent call for real, systemic, effective responses to the endemic problem of bullying and harassment. Especially in this time of societal crisis, adults in schools must be alert to the heightened pressure children face, and take action to create safe learning environments for the students in their care. In order to do that effectively, as this case so tragically illustrates, schools must deal head-on with anti-gay language and behavior.”

Two of the top three reasons students said their peers were most often bullied at school were actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender expression, according to From Teasing to Torment: School Climate in America, a 2005 report by GLSEN and Harris Interactive. The top reason was physical appearance.

“As was the case with Carl, you do not have to identify as gay to be attacked with anti-LGBT language,” Byard said. “From their earliest years on the school playground, students learn to use anti-LGBT language as the ultimate weapon to degrade their peers. In many cases, schools and teachers either ignore the behavior or don’t know how to intervene.”

Nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT youth (86.2%) reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation, nearly half (44.1%) reported being physically harassed and about a quarter (22.1%) reported being physically assaulted, according to GLSEN’s 2007 National School Climate Survey of more than 6,000 LGBT students.

In most cases, the harassment is unreported. Nearly two-thirds of LGBT students (60.8%) who experience harassment or assault never reported the incident to the school. The most common reason given was that they didn’t believe anything would be done to address the situation. Of those who did report the incident, nearly a third (31.1%) said the school staff did nothing in response. While LGBT youth face extreme victimization, bullying in general is also a widespread problem. More than a third of middle and high school students (37%) said that bullying, name-calling or harassment is a somewhat or very serious problem at their school, according to From Teasing to Torment. Bullying is even more severe in middle school. Two-thirds of middle school students (65%) reported being assaulted or harassed in the previous year and only 41% said they felt very safe at school.

Carl’s suicide comes about a year after eighth-grader Lawrence King was shot and killed by a fellow student in a California classroom, allegedly because he was gay.

GLSEN recommends four simple approaches schools can take to begin addressing bullying now.

Said Walker in the Springfield Republican: “If anything can come of this, it’s that another child doesn’t have to suffer like this and there can be some justice for some other child. I don’t want any other parent to go through this.”