The President speaking to congress

Originally Published on Join the Impact

Last night President Obama addressed the nation about an issue that is important to all Americans. Regardless of any other defining trait or political agenda, our mutual humanity unites us under one common umbrella; we will all at one point in our lives require medical attention. Anyone who has experienced a serious or debilitating medical condition understands that our current system is overwhelmingly flawed.  Even those of us who have had only minor medical problems understand all to well how quickly medical bills can overwhelm us even if we have insurance. Our country is blessed with some of the best medical minds in the world, and yet access is rationed based on economic and social status. Modern societies should care for the weakest among them. The United State’s is fully capable of fulfilling its fundamental promise in the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Elemental in the pursuit of happiness in our modern society must be access to health care services. Like so many progressive citizens I am dismayed that the debate about one of the most important institutions in our nation was hijacked by a few unstable individuals. It is vitally important that the President knows he has the support of the progressive community as he continues this important debate.   There are currently 5 bills making their way through congress (3 in the house, 2 in the Senate) and we must monitor all of them to make sure the town criers do not intimidate our elected officials from producing a quality and fair bill.

Join the Impact’s mission is to continue the conversation about LGBT citizens and our desire to be treated equally under the law in all 50 states in all matters of civil law. Health care reform fits within that mission. It is vital that the progressive LGBT community insists our families are included in the final legislation. We stand in solidarity with our brothers and sisters who do not have basic hospital visitation rights when the person they spend a lifetime with becomes ill. We understand that people die alone in hospitals while separated from their families because of their sexual orientation. We hope that as we stand with the President today on his goal for a health care bill (and his original goal for a public option), that he understands that health care reform is not just about insurance or about money, but about families who in times of crisis should not be separated from each other under any circumstance. When “family” is defined in the health care legislation the LGBT community must be included. Furthermore, Domestic partners and same sex married couples must be able to share health benefits without the current federal income tax burden on their families. Heterosexual families are not taxed on their shared benefits.

We can not forget our transgender friends and family whose needs are almost always left on the cutting room floor. It is all too common for transgender citizens to be denied health care simply because of who they are. Hospitals refuse their admittance, doctors refuse their care, and health insurance policies explicitly deny so-called “transgender care”. We request a strong public option that does not discriminate based on sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.  A public option is particularly important for our transgender community members because they are fired without recourse and regularly denied work altogether.  Most health insurance policies are provided by employers so if citizens can not find work they need a public option.

We understand the political significance of the health care reform bill.  Conservatives will stop at nothing to smear progressive attempts to reform.  We would like to request that as you construct your spin job you leave our families out of it. It will be easy for you to scare people by presenting our families and our issues. You are well practiced. There have already been attempts to scare people away from health care reform because of our inclusion in some drafts. Instead of creating even more fear about our community it would serve us all if you instead debated the structural content of the bills on a broader honest landscape. And if the conservatives remain steadfast in bullying the LGBT community, I hope the progressive community embraces our humanity and refuses not buckle under the pressure.  No human should be left behind in what could be the most monumental health care reform bill of this century.  The time for outlandish lies from the right is over — the time for swift action from progressives is now.

Gary Randall, the right wing extremist who would like to deny senior citizens and same-sex couples access to domestic partnership rights and obligations in Washington state quoted me in his blog today from the Seattle Times,

“It’s inevitable,” Mirabella said. “The tide is in the direction of equality. It’s just a matter of time.”

Randall disagreed. In the future that I envision all Americans are treated equally. This is about the farthest from Randall’s dream of reality as possible. He hopes to impose a theocratic government based on a fringe belief system on all of us –  gay or straight.

Because we see the world so differently, and because Randall has so publicly threatened the legal equality of my family,   I formally challenge Gary Randall to a public debate in a public setting.  As the representative for the anti-equality movement I should think Mr. Randall would welcome the opportunity to explain his political ideology, such as his belief that marriage is only for the genetic connection to the next generation.  I think the good people of Washington deserve to hear the extremist agenda that he and his organization would like to impose on both gay and straight people alike.

So Mr. Randall, what do you say?  Do you think you could drive up from Oregon and meet me here in Washington? I’d love to have a civil discussion with you about equality and civil rights.  I am a gentlemen and will debate like one.  So please sir, join me in Washington where we can exercise the greatest American political tradition, public debate.

According the Des Moines Register, same sex couples married in Iowa and other states will still be effected by Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, prohibits gays and lesbians from being open and honest about their lives. They can not identify openly as gay or lesbian, and they are prohibited from engaging in same gender sexual behavior. Even a simple conversation with a brief mention of their life will subject them to involuntary discharge.  To add to that already psychologically damaging list, same sex couples who choose to protect their families through their marriage rights in Iowa, Vermont, Massachusetts, and Connecticut, will be involuntary discharged from the National Guard and other military branches.

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is also doing a disservice to the United States Military. According to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, approximately 13,000 service members have been dishonorably discharged because of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Nealry 900 were “mission critical,” such as Arab language specialists (a difficult position to fill).

According to the Williams institute (2007) 4000 people decide not to join the military annually because of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. A Blue Ribbon commission reported in 2008 that the cost of implementing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is $363.8 Million and rising.

75% of Americans support repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  Most military missions are with coalition forces. Our allies already permit gays and lesbians to serve openly, so our military is already successfully working with openly gay and lesbian forces. 65,000 gay and lesbian military personal are in active service, risking their lives and dieing for the United States, yet we deny them the decency of recognizing who they — who they were born to be.

President Obama promised to overturn Don’t Ask Don’t Tell during the campaign, but he has yet to act on that promise. So for now, anyone who exercises their right to marry the love of their life will face a dishonorable discharge from the military.  Until this policy is overturned, anyone who supports Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is not truthful when they claim to support the troops. They can claim they support the heterosexual troops, but not all the troops — because that is the truth.

If you are on the fence about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, let me challenge you to try to live like a gay or lesbian in the military.  For this experiment let’s pretend that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell applies to heterosexual service members. For one week do not mention your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend. Remove all evidence of your life at home including pictures of your children, vacation photos, etc. Make sure the clothes you wear, or the way you talk , or walk do not tip anyone off to your heterosexuality.  Manage every movement, thought, and sentence that comes out of your mouth.

Do this for one week and then tell me that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is fair to the service men and women who are risking their lives right this moment in wars throughout the world. Tell me you feel just fine, that it didn’t alter your psychological well being. If you are in the Military, tell me it is okay that your wife/husband/family should not be given any benefits if you were killed. Tell me that’s an American value.

Edit:  I changed dishonerable discharge to involuntary discharge.  I was corrected by a reader on an important legal distinction. Most gays and lesbians recieve involuntary discharges.  A court marshal is required for a dishonerable discharge.

Meghan McCain is creeped out!

Meghan McCain, John McCain’s eldest daughter, co-hosted the View yesterday.  Apparently Carl Rove is following her on Twitter, and she is completely creeped out by that. Meghan is desperately trying to revitalize the Republican party into one that is more inclusive and has a fresh new attitude. She is outspokenly supportive of same-sex marriage and is taking a lot of heat for doing so.  She asked on the View, “Does Rove really think he is suddenly going to be cool because he is using Twitter?” She also said, 83% of younger voters are Democratic.

I agree with Meghan, and I would love it if Republican leadership to follow her advice. If the Republican party wants to be relevant in the future they need to be an inclusive party and not the anti-gay party.  The anti equality movement has already lost.  It is just a matter of time — perhaps a few years — when a strong majority of Americans are supportive of full equality and will not support candidates that are not.

The Republican party does not seem to get it though. The so-called leaders of the party — or at least the leadership the party is trying to portray –  are the same tired old windbags, Rush Limbaugh, Carl Rove, Dick Cheney, and Newt Gingrich. If those old fools aren’t a prescription for failure I don’t know who is.

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, dead at 11

An 11 Year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover hung himself Monday after enduring bullying.  Eliza Byard from GLSEN left a comment this blog this morning to correct a misunderstanding:  “I just wanted to clarify that there is no evidence one way or the other that other students in Carl’s school actually thought that he was gay. However, the primary language used to torment him, according to his mother, was that he was a “faggot,” or that he was “feminine.” This horrible situation must be a wake-up call regarding the impact of bullying on all children, and the urgent need for holistic responses to the problem that deal with the fact that homophobic language is the weapon of choice for bullies. All concerned adults must make sure that schools foster and enforce respect for *all.*”  This unfortunate tragedy is the 4th teen suicide related to bullying this year. Carl would have been 12 April 19, 2009.

This loss is so disturbing and heartbreaking.  Adults should have intervened and stopped the bullying.  How could no one have notice this was happening to this poor kid? I realize the root of this problem is so systemic it seems almost impossible to fix.  We need a cultural attitude paradigm shift towards gays and lesbians to cure the root of the problem.  As long those opposed to gay rights and equality are given a voice in our national media, children will inadvertently learn to hate gay people.  As long as gays and lesbians are treated as second class citizens, children will learn to hate gay people. As long as gay people are hated and feared they will be victims of abuse, bullying, and violence. Our most vulnerable brothers and sisters, like Carl, are not strong  or mature enough to be asked to bear the brunt of this hate. I really hope those who oppose equality come across this story and see the result of their dirty work.

I wish I had  just five minutes to talk to this poor boy before he hung himself. I wish I could have told him that he is loved by an enormous community, that many believe him to be beautiful, special, and important. I wish I could tell him that with time your skin becomes so thick that no matter how many times people bully you it no longer hurts.  I wish he could have seen the future that I see — one that is bright and eventually welcoming of everyone.  It may take time but I sincerely believe we can do it.

For the rest of us we have some tough questions to ask ourselves.  Our my hands bloody? Have I done everything I can to teach children to love one another instead of hate and fear people who are different?  Do I have the courage to intervene if I hear someone bullying someone else?  Have my actions contributed to the problem or helped cure the problem? These are tough questions, but in light of the trend developing it is time we all ask ourselves, what more can I do?

Here is the press release from GLSEN, an amazing organization looking for solutions for these problems:

GLSEN Calls on Schools, Nation to Embrace Solutions to Bullying Problem

NEW YORK, April 9, 2009 – An 11-year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hung himself Monday after enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay, despite his mother’s weekly pleas to the school to address the problem. This is at least the fourth suicide of a middle-school aged child linked to bullying this year.

Carl, a junior at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield who did not identify as gay, would have turned 12 on April 17, the same day hundreds of thousands of students will participate in the 13th annual National Day of Silence by taking some form of a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) bullying and harassment at school. The other three known cases of suicide among middle-school students took place in Chatham, Evanston and Chicago, Ill., in the month of February.

“Our hearts go out to Carl’s mother, Sirdeaner L. Walker, and other members of Carl’s family, as well as to the community suffering from this loss,” GLSEN Executive Director Eliza Byard said. “As we mourn yet another tragedy involving bullying at school, we must heed Ms. Walker’s urgent call for real, systemic, effective responses to the endemic problem of bullying and harassment. Especially in this time of societal crisis, adults in schools must be alert to the heightened pressure children face, and take action to create safe learning environments for the students in their care. In order to do that effectively, as this case so tragically illustrates, schools must deal head-on with anti-gay language and behavior.”

Two of the top three reasons students said their peers were most often bullied at school were actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender expression, according to From Teasing to Torment: School Climate in America, a 2005 report by GLSEN and Harris Interactive. The top reason was physical appearance.

“As was the case with Carl, you do not have to identify as gay to be attacked with anti-LGBT language,” Byard said. “From their earliest years on the school playground, students learn to use anti-LGBT language as the ultimate weapon to degrade their peers. In many cases, schools and teachers either ignore the behavior or don’t know how to intervene.”

Nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT youth (86.2%) reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation, nearly half (44.1%) reported being physically harassed and about a quarter (22.1%) reported being physically assaulted, according to GLSEN’s 2007 National School Climate Survey of more than 6,000 LGBT students.

In most cases, the harassment is unreported. Nearly two-thirds of LGBT students (60.8%) who experience harassment or assault never reported the incident to the school. The most common reason given was that they didn’t believe anything would be done to address the situation. Of those who did report the incident, nearly a third (31.1%) said the school staff did nothing in response. While LGBT youth face extreme victimization, bullying in general is also a widespread problem. More than a third of middle and high school students (37%) said that bullying, name-calling or harassment is a somewhat or very serious problem at their school, according to From Teasing to Torment. Bullying is even more severe in middle school. Two-thirds of middle school students (65%) reported being assaulted or harassed in the previous year and only 41% said they felt very safe at school.

Carl’s suicide comes about a year after eighth-grader Lawrence King was shot and killed by a fellow student in a California classroom, allegedly because he was gay.

GLSEN recommends four simple approaches schools can take to begin addressing bullying now.

Said Walker in the Springfield Republican: “If anything can come of this, it’s that another child doesn’t have to suffer like this and there can be some justice for some other child. I don’t want any other parent to go through this.”