I spent some time this morning reading Iowa newspapers and feeling a little jealous that I was not home to celebrate with my friends and family. I saw familiar faces in the photographs, like Kim Painter the Johnson Country Recorder who provided my partner and I our paperwork to get married when we were in Iowa just three weeks ago.
Today is the beginning of equality in Iowa. I can hardly wait to return home again in August to marry my fiance, Joe Brokken. He and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. I wonder what it will be like to call him husband instead of the invented term of “partner” used to describe our relationship until now. Will people understand our relationship on a deeper level? Will we?
Unfortunately when we return to Seattle, where we now live and work, our marriage will not be recognized. How strange that a commitment between two people — one that is so profoundly personal and important — can be regulated by the state so negatively. My Iowa friends and neighbors in Iowa will enjoy all the state benefits of marriage and yet in Washington we will have limited Domestic Partnership rights. The new bill is designed to be an “everything but marriage” bill, but it may not be in effect when we return because of the tax evading carpetbagger Gary Randell’s proposed referendum to overturn the bill.
I will not call Joe my partner any more once we are married. I will call him my husband, even in states that do not recognize our relationship. In time our love will be equal in every state.
But for now I am quietly celebrating from distance with my friends back home. I am so proud that Iowa is living up to its history as a pioneer in civil rights. I am so proud that the unexpected can still happen, that Iowa of all places is now an equality state.
